21. Three Weeks.

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I’m trying to write a hundred posts in a hundred days. This is not a particularly dramatic thing to be doing. The whole of WordPress seems to be full of people doing things like Postaday or Post Every Day in May. If everyone is doing it, it can’t be that difficult, can it? It can.

First of all I set myself the target of getting 60 000 views in those hundred days. Hah! Secondly, I didn’t take into account quite how tricky it is to do something like this every single day. And do it properly. No “quote of the day” or single paragraph update. Five hundred words at the very least.

Except Sundays. On Sundays, I get to ramble on for a paragraph or two and pretend it’s some kind of progress report. And anyone interested gets to vote on important issues concerning my blog.

So how’s progress? Getting better. I covered the singles scene. And Aardvarks. I wrote about crocodile botherers. And the magic penis tree. I did a post on car guards. And one on unconventional love. Two weeks ago I was getting just under half the views I needed to achieve my arbitrary and unreachable target. Now I’m getting just over half. Basically all I have to do is double the number of views I get a day and I’m there. No worries.

An aardvark. Just because.

An aardvark. Just because.

This week was tougher though. As I said, blogging every day can be tricky. My offspring have been ill, and since I happen to sleep closest to the door, night-time shenanigans are my duty. Also, my wife frightens me when she doesn’t get at least eight hours a night. The only night this week that my daughter has not come through and treated me to an extended rendition of “An Ode to an Asthmatic Walrus” in the middle of the night, my son rushed in to fill the gap. He ambled through to the lounge and turned on the TV at full volume. At three o’clock in the morning.

Funnily enough the lack of sleep has not made the writing any harder. It’s thinking up things to write about that has been a bit of an ordeal.

Thinking in general is an ordeal.

Thinking in general is an ordeal.

But fear not. I’ve got that covered for next week. I’ve decided to write a little about politics. I can hear you groaning already. Fear not! I will be writing about South African politics. South African politics is fun. I’ll tell you about our president. And his four wives. And his rape charge. I’ll tell you about our minister of education. And her panties. I’ll tell you about the leader of the communist party. And his million rand ($110 000) car bought with taxpayers’ money.

And that’s just about it for this week. I’m a fifth of the way there and going strong. ish. Chronologically. I’m a tenth of the way to hitting my arbitrary 60 000 views. Hope to see you next week. Bring a friend. Or twenty. Force your cheese of the month club to log on at gunpoint.

Oh. I forgot about the democracy thing. Here you go;

I kid you not. There really are naked pictures of the president involved.

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42 thoughts on “21. Three Weeks.

  1. You are dedicated, my good man. I’m impressed.

  2. mollytopia says:

    You can do it! And I have a cheese club to invite. Sort of. Staying tuned for naked pictures of presidents – hooray you!

  3. Max Shields says:

    Best of luck!
    It will be an impressive accomplishment.

  4. Narff may have a point about your tagging. Though perhaps you want hits from people who then actually read the post? This is suggested by the fact that you’re maintaining quality output…
    If you want some inspiration for your politics posts, trawl the archives of belgianwaffling.com. There are some fantastic ‘Belgian politics explained with vegetables’ (and random playmobil, dinosaurs, etc filched from her kids) posts. I never thought I could laugh so much over European history and politics.

    • 23thorns says:

      The views are more of an arbitrary measure than anything else. You never know what’s really happening, but you can compare one day to the next. It’s the writing part that really interests me.

  5. Kevin says:

    Man, you are at least on track to keep the 100 posts in 100 days! I have a hard enough time trying to write two posts a month much less 100 posts in 100 days. At least you not limiting yourself to 100 posts about sad clowns traveling around the world on a camel or “worthless advice” like me. Keep on writing your blog post and I’ll keep visiting to get your view count in the tens!

    • 23thorns says:

      every bit counts! I’ve tried the worthless advice angle, but everyone who visits that page seems absolutely fine. I need some emotionally fragile followers.

  6. menomama3 says:

    You have a follower named “Jim Morrison”? There’s a door opening post for you.

  7. I can hardly write 20 words a day, much less 500.
    That having been said… Even though you are suffering it is for your ART! Suffer dammit!

    Looking forward to S.A. politics, it has be more entertaining than politics in the USA

  8. I admire your stamina. Writing 100 500-word posts in 100 days doesn’t sound like my idea of a good time. I’m looking forward to the sordid tales of politics.

  9. narf77 says:

    Good to see that politics and politicians are the same in all countries Mr 23Thorns. Can’t wait to hear about your wonderful choices for your precious vote. We missed out on a communist candidate here in Australia…that would be “too interesting” for our voters apparently. Good to see the brothers are still working for the people and that “red” still means “the taxpayers are in the red” rather than anything more altruistic… tagged “writing” sir? Where is the “naked South African President” tag? That would get you at least halfway to your 60 000 in a single post!
    I am going to click “share this on Facebook” today. I am only going to do this once. I am doing it because there is an air of resignation to this post that requires a Mr Winston Churchillesque (naked of course…he did his BEST work naked…) call to arms. I have NO idea why you want 60 000 views. I can only imagine it is some sort of money or kudos making venture? I read that every time someone clicks on a Youtube channel, the owner gets one quarter of a cent. Not sure which countries “cent” this would be, but here’s hoping it is an Aussie cent because we are rolling in it down here and our “cents” make “sense”.

    Might be time to get out to the Lowveld with your trusty video camera and dear Mrs (long suffering) 23Thorns filming you. I am not talking crocodile wrestling or elephant baiting here, I am talking vigilante Mr 23Thorns. Get out there dressed all in black (tight black gets the most Youtube hits…especially if you have a bit of middle aged spread, the punters like someone they can image is “them” out there meting out revenge…) with a home-made (can you sew Mrs 23Thorns? I can’t…that’s why Steve isn’t out there spray-painting our local graffiti artists mailboxes as I type this at 3.46am…) vigilante mask and hogtying drunken yobs (not hard…the word “drunk” makes them easier to hogtie, crocodiles aren’t the only ones that lose control of their muscles when their mouths are shut 😉 ).

    Have either of you seen the magnificent opus “KickAss?” a most wonderful vigilante movie if ever I have seen one and the sequel is soon to be coming to a theatre near you…methinks if you get out there and do an even half assed job (read “back the car into their mailboxes and drive away quickly…) you are going to get into the local media…film it, say you saw “this amazing site” and you caught it on film and then sit back and count up all of those quarter cents that will start rolling in…Remember that fat kid in his garage with a stick? His Youtube channel paid for his university degree. I rest my case! Sorry about the sick kids…I am up at 3am. Let the kids get online and I will educate them about the real world while you sleep Mr and Mrs 23Thorns…Narf77 to the rescue!

    • 23thorns says:

      Our politicians can be a little different. Wait and see.
      Thanks for the Facebook shout. I’m not quite ready to throw in the towel, and every bit counts.
      Loving the new gravatar. The pink really brings out the colour of your eyes.

      • narf77 says:

        I thought my whiskers brought out the cut of my jib actually ;). Did you like the Kick Ass trailer? When is Mrs 23 Thorns going to start working on your costume?

      • 23thorns says:

        The last time Mrs 23thorns tried to sew she lost several litres of blood and had to be hospitalised. she’s not allowed to play with scissors any more. Ill just have to pop on my speedo and then roll around in some black paint.

      • narf77 says:

        Sounds like a plan…let the kids take the video and make a note on the Youtube channel (you gotta get yourself one of those first remember…) that your children were completely traumatised by the whole event and you will go viral! You might even make $20 by the end of the week…

    • I can’t sew at all. Shirts that lose buttons are repurposed as light cardigans and then retired. I have just bought a glue that claims to be able to deal with unravelled hems though, so maybe I can glue a whole lot of black stuff together. Maybe.

  10. Jim Morrison says:

    Congratulations on progress towards your goal and on your content to date. I have helped several people get started on WordPress and warned them of what I call, “The Blogger’s Burden” which is bipolar, the commitment to write vs the feeling of an obligation to do so. But I can see that you are well balanced, so this will not be an issue. I still wonder about the pictures. Which comes first, the idea of the caption and then finding a picture to suit, or a random view of a picture and then the caption light goes on? I look forward to discussion of the Zuma. Cheers from Vancouver Island.

  11. Congrats on setting your goals and doing so well this far. It really is inspirational to see someone posting their thoughts and opinions everyday and getting so many praises. Since I started blogging, I have been following your blog and enjoying everything you posted. Keep up the great work and can’t wait to see you hit 60,000 🙂

  12. I divided my blog into sections and listed all the things I wanted to write about under each heading- I have 100 or so ideas but who knows if I will actually write them?

  13. ioniamartin says:

    I can’t believe anyone voted for Justin:(

    • 23thorns says:

      I can’t help but feel a little let down. It would have been a great post. She’s just been out here on tour, and ran amuck in a golf cart. And then, because this is South Africa, thieves dug through the wall of the safe-room at the venue she played at and stole all of the takings. They got away with millions.

  14. mud4fun says:

    LOL, I’ve been running my blog for nearly two years (130’ish posts) and have only just passed the 50K hits mark. Mind you mine is a very specialist blog (refurbishing old Land Rovers) and I like the interaction of the Land Rover owning readers so I’d rather have fewer hits but from genuinely interested parties who actually read the whole post rather than a zillion hits from people who click through for 10 seconds, look at a picture and then click ‘like’….

    I find it fascinating to look at the stats from statcounter which are more accurate than wordpress faked ‘page stats’ which include picture clicks, to the point where some days statcounter shows an actual 150 page hits compared to wordpress showing 400!!!. I find it quite interesting to see the visits people make and how long they stayed and what they viewed. I probably have about 40 or so people who regularly visit and read through my long technical posts but about 60% of my ‘visitors’ are only on the site for less than a minute as they’ve come in to look at a picture. I also find it rather annoying when I see people ‘liking’ a post when they’ve only been on the site for a few seconds, clearly have not read any of the post at all and just wish to advertise their own site. I now pretty much ignore likes.

    I guess there are many different ways to use a blog but for me I generally write a post when I have some progress to report on my Land Rover projects. This means that for months on end there is little activity (in poor weather) and then a flurry of posts when warm weather arrives and I can get lots of stuff done. I try and do at least one post a month on progress but as you say it is really difficult and take far more time and effort to do a good post than you first think. I personally can’t be doing with posting some nonsensical, snappy one liner every few hours just to get hits or a load of fake likes. Far better to write good quality content albiet less often. I therefore admire your porgress so far on this as all the posts I’ve read to date have been enjoyable or thought provoking or both. They have also been well written.

    Keep up the good work!

    Ian

    • 23thorns says:

      I’m not really all that hung up on the stats. Its just a fun way to measure yourself, like keeping count when you hit a ball against a wall.
      Your posts are very different to mine- if tearing an engine apart and putting it back together again was part of my creative process, you would see a post every six months.

  15. Mmnm says:

    anything but the Bieber fever, please! (Eurovision?

  16. tric says:

    I have posted almost every day since I began the end of January, I think though if i was blogging for views I would have had to retire crying by now! Sad but true I am happy anyone reads or likes my posts. I do love to write though. I cannot even imagine getting as many views as you do. Best wishes. I do try to view you most days to help you achieve your goal.

  17. mambolounge says:

    1 down, 59,999 views to go.

  18. Ashana M says:

    How fun to be 100% of the opinions for 3 seconds…

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