98. 14 weeks.

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This is it; the last weekly update. And it will not, I fear, be a very long one. I have, you see, been at war today. I’ve seen some things in my life. I’ve climbed to over 4000m in the Alps. I’ve been charged by elephants and stood less than 20 metres from a wild lion. I’ve run with the bulls in Pamplona. I’ve been caught on a barbed wire fence as a bush-fire raced towards me. But I have never been through anything as harrowing as I did today. I was in a battle today.

Although I was wearing more comfortable pants.

Although I was wearing more comfortable pants.

The “Battle of the Choirs”. At the beginning of this year, the boy-child came home and announced that he had joined his school choir. This was a little surprising, as he had never expressed even the vaguest interest in singing before. I suspect that he found himself in a group of people who were all moving in the same direction, and simply followed them and did what they were doing. I suspect that that’s how most people end up with tattoos or Smart Cars. But join he did. And today we got to share in the fruits of his labour.

Convertibles. The last word in babe-magnetism.

Convertibles. The last word in babe-magnetism.

A local school had organised an event called “The Battle of the Bands” as a way of raising funds for a cancer support organisation. Which sounds fun. It wasn’t. The organisers turned out to be criminally insane. We arrived there at One o’clock and got home at seven. Which is kind of a long day for a bunch of nine-year olds. And even longer for the parents of a four-year-old who has just discovered the joys of a fold-up theatre chair. I’ll tell you all about it soon, but for now, I will simply tell you that the day’s events included a man playing a five minute solo on a shofar (a trumpet made from a ram’s horn that plays a varied repertoire of one note) and a bunch of nine year olds singing “Go West”, a fabulous gay anthem written by the Village People, and let you draw your own conclusions.

A nice enough song. But a curious choice for an octogenarian choir-mistress at a conservative Jewish primary school.

A nice enough song. But a curious choice for an octogenarian choir-mistress at a conservative Jewish primary school.

And so to the update. I’m on post number 98 of 100 posts in 100 days. I’ve had 34000 views in that time. The end is not just in sight, it is upon me. On Tuesday. And then I have to go off and find a real job.

It’s been an interesting week. I wrote about my son’s soccer tournament, Myrrh trees (or rather their cousins), and hyenas. Then I got all preachy and wrote about canned hunting and freak shows on television. And then I got less preachy again and wrote about sex on aeroplanes.

It’s going to be interesting to stop doing this. Just two more days of wracking my brains for something to write about, and then I go back to writing when the mood takes me. I’m not even sure if I think that’s a good thing or a bad thing. There’s already been one vote today (My son’s choir won. So that was seven harrowing hours with a four-year-old and a folding chair well spent) so there’s no need for another one. Just send me a comment telling me what to do for a living. Nine-year-old choir competition judge and shofar soloist will not be considered.

Although I may be flexible on the shofar thing if I am allowed to choose my own groin-pouch and hat-jewel.

Although I may be flexible on the shofar thing if I am allowed to choose my own groin-pouch and hat-jewel.

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29 thoughts on “98. 14 weeks.

  1. narf77 says:

    Collective communal “joining”. That’s how Steve ended up as a punk in the 80’s. Shuffled into safety pins and the Clash by his mates. My vote is “Gentleman of Leisure” fully supported by Mrs 23Thorns till she gets that bathroom finally done and then sir, its back to the madding crowd for you!

  2. Kevin says:

    I’ve been enjoying your posts from the other side of the world. Almost there…. But then just as a last second….drop the ball and don’t post…

  3. Persistent eventually pays off. 🙂 So does reciprocity–how often do you visit other people’s blogs. They will come back to you if you visit them often. That’s what I’ve found… 🙂

  4. I’m afraid the only skill you’ve demonstrated here is in writing 23thorns. You’re stuck, you’ll have to continue writing for our amusement. Besides, does Mrs 23thorns REALLY want to change her name to Mrs Shofar? It simply doesn’t ring. 😉 Really enjoy your blog, great job!

  5. You’ll have to become a counsellor since everyone who reads your posts will become severely depressed! 😈

  6. Definitely write a book!
    That way you could keep writing on your blog each day about how you suffer from writer’s block, and then you can keep telling us all about the fauna and flora of the lowveld, to distract yourself from the writer’s block – I’d buy it! Lol

  7. Lyn says:

    Yes, I echo the thoughts of two of your other followers, a book is definitely a…definite possibility. In the meanwhile, I’m looking forward to a nice long post about the concert. If it’s anything like “Grapple-Hook Baby” it will be another brilliant piece of editorial brilliance 😀

  8. ksbeth says:

    become the local shellfish constable.

  9. Ashana M says:

    I think being a male escort is decently paid. Do you think Mrs. 23thorns would allow that? Then in your free time, you could write about the lowveld. It could work out very nicely. At least for me. (I like your lowveld posts.)

  10. Photos close to home says:

    Definitely a book. With a good editor and publisher to push it for you.

  11. Hank. says:

    Have you considered:

    * Vegan outreach coordinator, Clinton, Montana’s 2014 Testicle Festival

    * Online cat astrologer

    * Co-Founder, “Look on the Bright Side!©” couples retreats held in unfortunate worldwide locales (Jonestown, Waco, etc.) with a kind of Up With People/Marriage Encounter-ish flavor

    *Dish rack designer

    * Entertaining spam writer (Trick people who breathe! This one has never been tried and is therefore extra lucrative.)

    * Stunt wedding photographer/organist

    * Pigeon embalmer

    * Personal shopper/food stylist for very wealthy cannibals with allergies

    * 1980s hair preservationist

    * Rat trap tester

    * American Civil War reenactor/dioramist

  12. Janice Heck says:

    Hello, 23Thorns. Good for you for getting to 98. Two more to go. I’m proud of you.

  13. smallpebbles says:

    Well, you could always lead tours into the bush, on second thought, a book, a book – you underestimate yourself, you already have one from your 100 posts!

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